[My actual wife. She's just as sad as anyone about the passing of Steve Jobs. Her issue is that her husband--me--tended to buy whatever Steve was selling. -AC]
Amidst all the glowing obits for Steve Jobs can I just say I will be paying for his legacy for the rest of my natural existence. By making gadgets that were shiny and elegant and consumer-friendly, he’s made my life a living hell.
I married a geek. That means whenever Apple had their annual announcement, he would wait with bated breath for that post-script-that one more thing-from Jobs. Within weeks or months (in Canada) it would be off to the Apple store to buy the latest incarnation of..whatever. A computer. An iPhone. An iPad.
Once he had the new, I was given the old, like my sister’s discarded Barbies. The old never came with instructions and always came loaded with his songs. His bookmarks. His contacts. By the time I figured out how the old worked, I would be presented with another new/old gadget. I referred to these high tech hand-me-downs as Marge’s bowling ball. (The episode aired in March 1990.) I was as thrilled with my re-gifted gift as she was with the unwanted bowling ball and often wished some sexy geek would come along to show me how to work the darned thing and the husband would get jealous just as Jacques made Homer jealous. (Note-I do not have a blue beehive.)
I don’t see things changing with the passing of St. Steve. The pattern is too ingrained in the consumer product cycle. They call it Moore’s Law which I at first took to mean Demi’s willingness to overlook Ashton’s scrutiny of hot tub-worthy playmates.
Because of Steve and his ilk, I am destined to end my days trying to decipher the latest gadget. Dante’s circle of hell has nothing on the fate of a confirmed Luddite.