Quick: Name the biggest non-sporting television event in all of Europe. If you said "the Eurovision Song Contest," you're right.
We're getting down to the short strokes, too. With the semifinals coming up on May 22 and 24 and the finals set for May 26 in Baku, Azerbaijan, fans all over the continent are cheering for their favourite contestants.
Just don't expect anything, uh, meaningful to come out of the competition. The Village Voice has helpfully compiled a list of the eight weirdest contestants of all time. For example, this entry finished second in 2007.
SECOND! IT ALMOST F**KING WON! And Europe wonders why they're in such trouble these days.